Release

I am going to live a fantastic life.

I want to be able to reach the skies with my feet still grounded. I want to be able to reach out and have people's love fill me in. I want to be able to exceed everyone and anyone's expectation yet still wanting to learn more things.

I want to go out to see the world at different angles, but I want to see the sun set at different parts of my country first.

I want to start small, a step at a time, and be this incredibly big (not literally though) person, loud and proud.

I am not going to limit myself.

And by not limiting myself, I want to just let go of the reins and let life take me to where I am bound to be.

Let life take me to where I should be.

I am still battling with my own demos though.

And I admit that every day is a battle to stand up for the decisions that I have made along the way.

But I won't stop.

Not for love.

Not even that.

Free.

For the nth time, I'm starting my life anew.

It came unexpectedly, but as they say, 'it'll be when it's meant to be.'

i cant even begin to think what it'll be like. But i'm sure it won't be as hard as it was from the start.

My emotions are drained. I would have wanted to cry or whine or die. But the wise in me knows that all I'll waste are tears. Can't bring back what was.

The loss was inevitable. All along I knew everything and anything would come to what it is now.

My brain is blank. The anger is adding to the confusion. I would have wanted to curse and scream, but the values I have is holding me back.

Goodbye, bestbud. May you find the one thing you've always had all along.

Lonely on Top

I went to work today at 5:30 a.m.

Damn.

And I left work to go home at 5:30 p.m.

Damn. Damn. Damn.

I can barely open my eyes while I drive myself home.

I have never been so tired at work than I have been today.

Life is really weird.

I used to daydream all day at work.

And now look at me. I can barely go to the cr.

I know I can do this. Sooner or later, everything's going to be just as easy as my first assignment.

And no, I am not going to let anybody put me down.

Not even when their eyebrows raise when I pass by.

Not even when they doubt.

Not even when they smirk.

Not even politics.

Not even that.

Because no matter how hard they laugh and no matter how high their brows will raise,

I get to be the one on top.

=)

Life and Work

I just got promoted.

AndI became the saddest person on earth.

Not that I did not want it. It's just that I do not want to want it now.

I've never been afraid of challenges. My life mantra is never say no until I get to do it.

But perhaps this time my life mantra will not work.

I am a newbie in this field. And being one brings discomfort to my thoughts.

Haven't had much sleep lately. Even in dreams, I see my new boss shouting at me.

Even my subconscious is scared.

I guess I still am too young for this battle. People spend half of their years working their way on top.

I got it in less than five years.

Am I worth all this? Can I make this work?

Got to pray a LOT harder.

They say in work you must have one buddy to run to to let out all the stress.

I just hope my bestbud will still be there.

Sigh.