Open Hands

Came across this sad love letter...

Dear B,

What happened was beyond my wildest imagination. The truth is, I didnt know it was going to happen.

But it did. I was at it. My whole heart was in it.

I fell in love with you.

There, I said it. I finally said it.

My head has been fighting with my heart not to let this thing happen. But it did happen.

It felt right, though the circumstances were all wrong. God knows the challenges we are up against. Everything and anything are against us. There's just no way that we could make it through.

I wanted to be next to you all the time. You made me feel special again. You made me believe in love again. You made everything and anything happy. You put back theis smile in my face with this love in my heart.

I had you for three weeks, and that was one of the best three weeks of my life.

But I am letting you go now.

Reality came right back up and showed me that I could never have what I am not meant to have.

You were never mine and you can never be mine.

And I was never yours and I could never be one.

I was angry. Hell, you know how angry I was. I hated life for giving me you yet we can't be together. I hated my life for what I have and hated life most when it slapped me with what I couldn't have. I was drowned at the thought of what I wanted but I couldn't have. Could not have. Can never have.

My hands are up. I am letting you go now.

I just can't have you. Just couldn't.

Sounds so melodramatic, but that's just what it is. I just couldnt have you. And I could state a million reasons why we can be together but there are still few reasons why we can't. And that makes all the difference.

I just couldn't live the life that you wanted me to live.

I can't be the person you want me to be.

I can't be with you when you can't even begin to think of starting over your life with me.

And I can't give up my life when you can't.

That's just not the way how love works for me.

Life has its reasons for putting me in this place, and I would like to believe that love still works. Maybe not for us, but I hope that someday it will still work for me.

And I can't begin to tell you how thankful I am for the lesson I've learned with you.

With all my love,

G