yellow mind with a white blank

I want to write a blog. Since three days ago, this has been on my mind. But the moment I try to compose one, I delete the words more than I rewrite them. Not that my mind is blank. More like too confused to even write.

I wanted to write so much about my life, my new gym instructor, my new challenges at work, new friends, new frustrations...but my hands aren't interested.

But it has been difficult...my life in general. Yet, I couldnt complain. A friend told me recently that I cant have it all. Maybe he's correct. Maybe the new urge to be healthy and fit pays for the sadness over some love that has gone sour. Maybe my new promotion is a trade for the anguish I feel everyday having my car stall on me. You win some, you lose a lot. Yet, you lose some and still win a lot.

When will I ever learn that loving is living yet living is not only about loving? When will I ever learn not to expect much from the people I thought will always always be there? When will I learn that life is really what we make of it. The choice is mine, whether to be happy or not, to stay or go, to be or not to be.