Memory gap, anyone??
When does one qualify for that disease?
Is it only for the old folks? I wonder.
I am amazed on how little I remember of my ‘childhood’ days.
And I mean little in its littlest way.
I went out a couple of nights ago with my highschool girlfriends. You know how it is when seeing your old friends…one talking before one could even finish…stories untold for centuries…laughing all over again about the stories we’ve already laughed at the last time we met.
And there we were…four happy friends who managed to see each after years of not being together. Sharing our lives again. Wondering how each one has been. (And I bet thinking who among us has a far better salary than the other!).
Talking. Laughing. Reminiscing.
But I wasn’t reminiscing. I was remembering.
Trying to remember. Trying real hard.
We were there, happily talking, but my mind was far beyond where it should be.
Blabbing their mouths and I was like hearing the stories for the first time.
Seriously, I could not remember most of the things they said we did way back the time when we felt we were all grown ups and so mature and ready to marry.
I couldn’t even believe when one friend told me we were classmates in our sophomore year. And she was my bestfriend back then!!
Why can’t I remember???
I tried going through all the memories, the letters, the pictures, the notes…and for me it felt like reading and seeing it for the first time. Scary, knowing that my brain shut out on me.
Alarming, knowing that my friends have their memories intact and I don’t. Disturbing, feeling I let my self down.
I’m writing this down so that in time, when I’ll read this again, I’ll remember the few memories that I have. By then I’d recall:
That back in my freshmen year, 95% of the girls in my class confronted me with their anger. They were angry coz I was bestfriends with one of our classmate who happened to be their crush.
That I wasn’t able to attend to most parties in highschools (birthdays, gimiks) because my mom would stay at the streets of Tibungco with smoke in her nose when im still not home by 6pm.
That for the few parties that I’ve been to, I managed to eat first among all guests because I had to leave by 5pm.
That (according to my friends) during my menstrual period and some blood would eventually manage to get their way into my skirt, I’d cover it with chalk. Imagine that. (That one I’d rather forget).
That at one time, all my classmates laughed at me because I pronounced ‘H’ as ‘etch’ with conviction because that was what my grade 3 english teacher taught me. Kasalanan ko ba yun???
That during my third year prom, I looked like sailor moon but with a curly hair and red lips. And that I couldn’t concentrate on the party knowing that my mom and dad where down at the lobby waiting for me.
That on my fourth year prom, I almost cried because my prom partner arrived seconds before the doors would be locked.
That’s all I remember. For now.
Maybe my brain shrunk.
When does one qualify for that disease?
Is it only for the old folks? I wonder.
I am amazed on how little I remember of my ‘childhood’ days.
And I mean little in its littlest way.
I went out a couple of nights ago with my highschool girlfriends. You know how it is when seeing your old friends…one talking before one could even finish…stories untold for centuries…laughing all over again about the stories we’ve already laughed at the last time we met.
And there we were…four happy friends who managed to see each after years of not being together. Sharing our lives again. Wondering how each one has been. (And I bet thinking who among us has a far better salary than the other!).
Talking. Laughing. Reminiscing.
But I wasn’t reminiscing. I was remembering.
Trying to remember. Trying real hard.
We were there, happily talking, but my mind was far beyond where it should be.
Blabbing their mouths and I was like hearing the stories for the first time.
Seriously, I could not remember most of the things they said we did way back the time when we felt we were all grown ups and so mature and ready to marry.
I couldn’t even believe when one friend told me we were classmates in our sophomore year. And she was my bestfriend back then!!
Why can’t I remember???
I tried going through all the memories, the letters, the pictures, the notes…and for me it felt like reading and seeing it for the first time. Scary, knowing that my brain shut out on me.
Alarming, knowing that my friends have their memories intact and I don’t. Disturbing, feeling I let my self down.
I’m writing this down so that in time, when I’ll read this again, I’ll remember the few memories that I have. By then I’d recall:
That back in my freshmen year, 95% of the girls in my class confronted me with their anger. They were angry coz I was bestfriends with one of our classmate who happened to be their crush.
That I wasn’t able to attend to most parties in highschools (birthdays, gimiks) because my mom would stay at the streets of Tibungco with smoke in her nose when im still not home by 6pm.
That for the few parties that I’ve been to, I managed to eat first among all guests because I had to leave by 5pm.
That (according to my friends) during my menstrual period and some blood would eventually manage to get their way into my skirt, I’d cover it with chalk. Imagine that. (That one I’d rather forget).
That at one time, all my classmates laughed at me because I pronounced ‘H’ as ‘etch’ with conviction because that was what my grade 3 english teacher taught me. Kasalanan ko ba yun???
That during my third year prom, I looked like sailor moon but with a curly hair and red lips. And that I couldn’t concentrate on the party knowing that my mom and dad where down at the lobby waiting for me.
That on my fourth year prom, I almost cried because my prom partner arrived seconds before the doors would be locked.
That’s all I remember. For now.
Maybe my brain shrunk.
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